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1. [Editor’s note: This
interview was conducted via email, and contains coarse language, discussions of
nudity, and exorbitant amounts of biting sarcasm. Reader discretion is advised.]
2. Soderbergh: Did you think you were
"LittleMissHotShit" in college, or did that come later?
3. Mara: When I was at college, my
nickname was Keds, because I wore Keds. I guess it wasn’t really a nickname,
because nicknames are usually given to you by people who are your friends and
who know you. But I didn’t know the people who called me Keds. I think that
they didn’t like me because I didn’t want to join a sorority. I left that
school.
4.
Soderbergh: Sounds like you would have
been asked to leave if you hadn’t left on your own, especially since you think
that all sororities should be abolished. Your background is boring me, so let’s
get to the movie stuff. When you were working with [David]Fincher on TheGirlWithTheDragonTattoo[2011],
why did he have to do so many takes of all your scenes?
5.
Mara: Har, har dotdotdot. Because I am
such a pleasure to be around, Fincher would prolong my scenes so that I would
be on set all of the time. And maybe because I am stubborn, I thought that I
could out-stubborn him. But you can’t out-stubborn a Finch. He was always
right, though. Not everyone can make films with “less than one take,” like you.
6.
Soderbergh: So do you really have any
tattoos? Or was that acting?
7.
Mara: I don’t have any. That was
acting.
8.
Soderbergh: And are you an expert hacker?
Or was that acting, too?
9.
Mara: That was also acting. Unfortunately.
10. Soderbergh:
So why didn’t you win the Oscar?
11. Mara:
Lots of reasons dotdotdot. I know how much you love your Oscar. My dog’s name
is Oskar.
12. Soderbergh:
As an Oscarwinner, I find that incredibly insulting. By the way, do you know
that your dog hates the way you smell?
13. Mara:
He’s sleeping next to me right this very moment. He loves everything about me,
bless his little heart.
14. Soderbergh:
In our movie, SideEffects, you were asked to play a
woman who is struggling with clinical depression (pause) amongst other things.
I must note for the record that, as your director, I did not see you do any
preparation for this role. Do you wing it all the time, or were you just trying
to fuck up this movie specifically?
15. Mara:
Clearly, on the eve of your retirement, you stopped paying attention to
everything. When I do a film, I follow the director. And because you wing
everything, like this interview, I decided that that’s the way I should work as
well.
16. Soderbergh:
I think we both know how much I prepared for this interview. But just to give
the Interview readers a little bit of insight dotdotdot. For
the first week of shooting, I told you to do the opposite of what I wanted you
to do, because I knew that you would do the opposite of what I asked. Then you
stopped doing that, so I started asking you to do what I wanted, which you did
for a while, and then I went back to asking for the opposite, and then, after
about daynine, I was so medicated that I’m not sure what happened. Tell me
about that.
17. Mara: If
you hadn’t lost your ability to read people, you would have known that at first
I was doing whatever you asked (pause) and then slowly, bitterly, I started
doing the opposite.
18. Soderbergh:
Glad it was a short shoot. By the way, you wanted your fee on Side
Effects to be paid to you in small, unmarked bills. What’s up with
that?
19. Mara: Shh
dotdotdot.
20. Soderbergh:
So tell me this then: Why are you naked in every movie?
21. Mara: I
just do what I’m told when I’m told. There is a line, though (pause) like when
you asked me to do reversecowgirl with Channing[Tatum] and I put my foot down.
If the character should be nude in the scene and it makes sense and I trust the
person making the film (pause) and I regret my decision to trust you now that I
know you more (pause) then I don’t see a problem with it. I certainly don’t
want to be involved in anything that is gratuitous, but I don’t think the human
body is something to be ashamed of. Every other person on the planet has the
same parts as I do. So seeing them shouldn’t be a huge shock to most people.
22. Soderbergh:
First of all, reversecowgirl occupies a very important position in porn, pun
intended. Plus, you told me that you couldn’t stand to look at Channing, so I
was just trying to solve a problem.
23. Mara: You
would know dotdotdot. If I recall, Channing didn’t want to look at me.
24. Soderbergh:
He said that you scared him. Seriously. What were you doing that made him
scared?
25. Mara: I
don’t know! I thought I was pretty nice, even when I was thinking of dotdotdot.
Spoiler!
26. Soderbergh:
Shut up! But maybe this is a good time for you to answer some questions you’ve
been avoiding. For example: Are you afraid of being kidnapped?
27. Mara: I
try not to think about it. I would probably be more afraid for the person who
was kidnapping me.
28. Soderbergh:
Why?
29. Mara:
Because when threatened, I can get very scary (pause) and hypo-glycem-ic if I’m
not fed every few hours. It’s not pleasant.
30. Soderbergh:
I’ve noticed. Everyone on the crew called you LooneyMara. Do you think that’s
funny?
31. Mara: Umm
dotdotdot.
32. Soderbergh:
Actually, some of the crew called you JumperCable, because you had no energy.
Do you think that’s funnier?
33. Mara:
Well, I think it’s more relevant, as I was playing someone with clinical
depression. A lack of energy was sort of part of the no-preparation that I did.
34. Soderbergh:
That reminds me (pause), why are you constantly sick?
35. Mara:
Because of too many ZPaks growing up.
36. Soderbergh:
Oh, this is interesting. So you were sexually promiscuous dotdotdot.
37. Mara: No,
I was pretty prude.
38. Soderbergh:
Oh dotdotdot. Not so interesting. So why don’t you eat normal food?
39. Mara: By
normal, do you mean food that has been genetically modified? I try to eat food
that hasn’t been washed in ammonia and then packaged in the shape of breaded
dinosaurs filled with cheese (pause) even though those are very tasty. I like
to eat food that can actually make it through the 20plusfeet of my smallintestine.
40. Soderbergh:
So you’re not vegan because of the senseless, pointless, morally repugnant,
environmentally catastrophic practice of animal farming, but because of your
little intestine?
41. Mara: All
of those reasons play a role.
42. Soderbergh:
If you were alone on a desert island and could only have one piece of music to
listen to, don’t you think everyone would be really happy?
43. Mara:
Clearly, you would be really happy. I would be happy for a while, too, depending
on what music it was.
44. Soderbergh:
Let’s talk politics: Why did you wear your sister’s training bra? She’s still
trying to get over that.
45. Mara: She
told you that? That’s embarrassing. She was really upset when my mom brought
her home a trainingbra. She didn’t want it, so I "mosey-ed on over"
and picked it up. I was very eager to get boobs. It wasn’t until years later
that the trainingbra would actually fit. I’ve regretted it ever since.
46. Soderbergh:
Do you still have it?
47. Mara: No.
Of course not.
48. Soderbergh:
Pretty sure they had eBay back then. Should’ve kept it. I’ve never seen you
read. Do you know how?
49. Mara:
Yes, sir, I do know how. I love to read. [Usual bullshit?] I’m still penpals
with my ninthgradeEnglishteacher, Mr.Shanley. He tells me what books to read.
50. Soderbergh:
I think we need a new word for penpal. But back to me: I stopped reading my
reviews after Traffic[2000]. Do you care about
reviews?
51. Mara: Do
I care about reviews? Yes and no. I tend to not put too much credence in what
other people think, but then, of course, you are curious as to what other
people think and you want people to respect you. So, I don’t know. At the end
of the day, I am so much more critical of myself than anyone else could be, and
I know when something I’ve done is really bad or kind of good. I guess
sometimes you read a review to see if anyone else picked up on something bad
that you already picked up on yourself. So, generally, if I do read them, I do
it when I am feeling really bad about myself, and I find the meanest things
that people have said so I can validate my own feelings. I don’t read them to
fluff myself up. In fact, rarely do you believe it when someone says something
nice.
52. Soderbergh:
One of the reasons I’m so creative is that my parents got divorced. What’s it
like growing up in a stablehousehold?
53. Mara: Really?
Do you want to elaborate on that? Do you think your creativity is directly
related to your parents’s divorce? And why would that be? I think that I have a
pretty vivid imagination despite my stable household. Everyone’s family has their
quirks. No one is perfect.
54. Soderbergh:
Well, for me, it was a great lesson in subtext. But since you’re always playing
the surface of things, I guess it wouldn’t have helped you.
55. Mara: I was actually fired once for having too much innerlife.
56. Soderbergh:
That sounds unlikely. I don’t know if I told you
this, but I like to work fast because I’m convinced that I could die at any
moment and I’m worried that someone else will have to finish my movie. Do you
worry about dying?
57. Mara: Who
do you think they would hire to finish your movie? Is there anyone you would
trust to finish it? Sometimes I think about that (pause) like, “Okay, if I died
right now, would they have to reshoot the whole film? Or would they be able to
edit around it.” Then I think through the scenes that are left to shoot, and
weigh if they would be able to finish it or not.
58. Soderbergh:
They could always get your sister to jump in and finish it. But let’s talk
about god for a moment. Do you feel guilty about all of the terrible things
you’ve done in your life? Actually, let me rephrase that: Do you think that we
are all being watched, and when we die, we will get a reportcard?
59. Mara: A
report card? I can’t even remember what a reportcard looks like. Is that
strange? I literally can’t picture it. But no, I don’t think we get areportcard
it. I do think, though, that the way we live our lives and treat each other
matters. I’m quite often paranoid that I am being watched.
60. Soderbergh:
Well, duh (pause) you are! Talk about what scares you. Be specific.
61. Mara:
Diseases, like the one in Contagion[2011]. Black mambas. Heights.
The ocean. Outer space. Humans.
62. Soderbergh:
Anyone specifically besides me?
63. Mara:
Stop projecting. You don’t scare me.
64. Soderbergh:
You seem very content with your feet. Why is that?
65. Mara: Wow
dotdotdot. I need to remember to keep that one closer to the chest next time. I
don’t know. They are just pretty great feet. They get me to where I need to be
(pause) usually on time. They don’t smell. They are a nice size. Long toes dotdotdot.
66. Soderbergh:
I don’t like seeing men’s feet. It’s too intimate. Don’t you think flip-flops
and sandals on men should be outlawed?
67. Mara: No.
I like flipflops on men. I am not grossed out by feet. I’ve never seen your
feet, though, so that could change.
68. Soderbergh:
I don’t have feet; I have another set of hands. Have you ever asked anyone out?
69. Mara: I
don’t think so dotdotdot.
70. Soderbergh:
Interesting. What’s your favorite swear word and why?
71. Mara:
When I was growing up, I wasn’t allowed to say fart. Fart was a swear word. We
had to say honk instead (pause) “He honked!” A penis was a winky. But these
days, I like words with a little more punch.
72. Soderbergh:
Like doodie?
73. Mara:
Like cunt.
74. Soderbergh:
Whoa dotdotdot. Okay. Would you lie to help your best friend?
75. Mara:
Help them with what? How serious is the situation? Probably. I need more
information than that to make a decision. But, as I’ve told you before, I am a
terrible liar.
76. Soderbergh:
I just turned 50, which seemed old to me when I was your age. Does that seem
old to you now?
77. Mara: No.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, you are only a few years younger than my parents,
so technically you could be my dad. But a lot, probably most, of my friends are
over the age of 35. And you are super-immature, so you seem a lot younger than
your age.
78. Soderbergh:
Thank you. I happen to think the most valuable natural resource on this planet
is Velcro, but I hear you’re into some shit with what, water? Schools?
79. Mara: I’m
involved with a charity in Kibera,Kenya, calledUweza. I started a charity a few
years ago, and then joined up withUweza because we had a lot of the same goals
and we had been helping each other out for years. We don’t do anything with
water, but I did just get back from a trip with OxfamAmerica, and they are
doing some pretty incredible work with water. I will recommend something withVelcro
to them, though.
80. Soderbergh:
Did your parents make you get involved with that stuff?
81. Mara: No,
my parents begged me not to go. But they are extremely supportive now.
82. Soderbergh:
I cried when MagicMike wasn’t nominated for a People’sChoiceAward. When
was the last time you cried?
83. Mara:
You’re a liar.
84. Soderbergh:
You weren’t there, so you don’t know for sure. The hardest I’ve ever laughed,
though, was when I watched ValleyOfTheDolls[1967] one
Thanksgiving on mushrooms. What’s the hardest that you’ve ever laughed?
85. Mara:
It’s too inappropriate to tell you about in this interview, but it involves
latex.
86. Soderbergh:
Latex is always funny. I refuse to let my wife wear green. What color will you
not wear?
87. Mara: I’m
pretty sure I’ve seen Jules[Asner] wear green. But I try not to wear color.
Ever.
88. Soderbergh:
For political reasons?
89. Mara: No,
because it’s easier to get dressed in the morning.
90. Soderbergh:
Let’s talk about your acting process some more. Have you ever complained about
your accommodations on an acting job?
91. Mara: No,
I don’t think so. Accommodations on acting jobs are really, really nice and
nothing to complain about, although one of the apartments that I stayed at inSweden
while we were makingTheGirlWithTheDragonTattoo didn’t have
very good heat. I would turn on the stove to try to heat it up, which I’m
pretty sure is incredibly dangerous, but I didn’t know that at the time. I
would sleep with a hot water bottle.
92. Soderbergh:
If you were a tree dotdotdot. Oh, fuck that. What kind of car would you be? I
actually drive a [19]64Beetle, which is exactly the car I would be.
93. Mara: I
would be a bicycle.
94. Soderbergh:
Oh god. (pause) I should have seen that coming. Now that I’m winding down my
career as a feature filmdirector, my new ["]lineofwork["] involves
importing liquor from Bolivia. What’s your favorite drink? LongIslandicedtea?
95. Mara: I
really like Bolivia. I went there when I was 18. I really liked LongIslandicedteas
when I was 18, too. My favorite drink is a hot toddy.
96. Soderbergh:
Do you own any Applestock?
97. Mara: No,
but my mom always yells at my dad because she told him to buy it years ago and
he didn’t.
98. Soderbergh:
That’s weird (pause) I yell at him about that, too. TraderJoe’s is always packed.
I wish they would go public so I could buy their stock. Do you shop there?
99. Mara: I
love TraderJoe’s. They have really good prices. But Erewhon inLosAngeles is the
best grocery store.
100.
Soderbergh: I’ll ask my unpaid interns
about that. I have copies of all the magazine covers that you’ve done and I
need you to sign them so I can sell them. Do you keep copies of your covers?
Does your family?
101.
Mara: I don’t keep them, but I’m sure
my mom does.
102.
Soderbergh: Do you think that your
parents have ever read Interview?
103.
Mara: Yes, I am quite sure that they
have.
104.
Soderbergh: Let’s talk about politics.
Do you get to keep all those dresses you wear to awards shows?
105.
Mara: No, none of them.
106.
Soderbergh: Really? Then what’s the
point? They don’t give you anything? You’re helping them!
107.
Mara: I didn’t say that they don’t give
me anything. I said that I don’t get to keep the dresses that I wear to award
shows. Getting to wear the dress in the first place is something, though, isn’t
it?
108.
Soderbergh: I suppose. Let’s move on
and talk about sex. Some of these camera apps are amazing. Do you have any apps
you like?
109.
Mara: I only just got an iPhone two
weeks ago. I hate it. Sorry, Apple. I love Macproducts. I love them, but I
can’t type ontheiPhone, so now I just don’t respond to people. The camera is
amazing, though. No denying that.
110.
Soderbergh: I think that, if a man is
in a restaurant where someone brings him his food, then he should not wear a
hat. What do you think?
111.
Mara: You’ve told me this before. I
think that’s a pretty good rule of thumb. But what about a beanie? What if it’s
outdoor seating?
112.
Soderbergh: Only if he’s bald dotdotdot.
Do you keep a journal?
113.
Mara: No, and any journal I might have
kept in the past I ripped up and threw away the day I met you.
114.
Soderbergh: Smart. What other paying
jobs have you had?
115.
Mara: I was a babysitter/nanny and a
camp counselor. One summer, me and my best friend answered the phones at her
dad’s office, but we laughed every time we picked up the phone so they moved us
to the shipping department.
116.
Soderbergh: Everyone says my best quality
is my humility. What’s yours?
117.
Mara: My feet. Definitely.
118.
Soderbergh: Again with the feet! When
you’re not shooting, what kind of hours do you keep?
119.
Mara: That’s too revealing.
120.
Soderbergh: More revealing than that
thing about not keeping the dresses? If everything you’ve texted in the lasttwentyfourhours
were to be posted publicly, would you get in trouble?
121.
Mara: Yes.
122.
Soderbergh: Are you as paranoid as you
seem?
123.
Mara: More so.
124.
Soderbergh: Last question: Me and
Fincher both offer you a movie, and you have a gun with one bullet in it. Which
one of us do you shoot?
125.
Mara: I would put the gun down and run
(pause) very, very fast.
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