29 Oktober 2012

Opinion on the owner of Brasil Café, Houston, TX, Daniel Fergus..

  He placed an oil painting of Lyndon B. Johnson which overlooks his customers. He likes to belive that he is the "right-hand man" of Lyndon B. Johnson, President of the USA. It explains his personality, a control-freak and a wormy prick. Domy Books is an elaborate mental masturbation because the products in the bookshop hardly change.

Plan.

During Christmas holiday, I will rent a car and photograph every location of Rushmore (1998).

28 Oktober 2012

A plan for training of Mnemotechnique.

I must start from the "scratch" and train myself with memorising a long series of simple and short words.

Chomsky. Transcript. On Education.

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1.     When I graduate, I'm gonna be a History teacher. - History teacher. - What do you suggest I do in that context?
2.     Well, you know, that's really important. A lot of people, if you think of your own experience, I know me. You can remember cases when a teacher made a terrific impression on you. Most schooling is training for conformity and stupidity. But very once in a while, That's institutional, too, there are reasons for that. But, occasionally, you get a spark. Somebody will challenge your mind, make you think, encourage you to think, and so on. There is tremendous effect, you just reach all sorts of people. And of course, you have to tread a narrow line. There are plenty of people who don't want students to think. They are afraid of the crisis in democracy. People start thinking, you get all these problems I've been quoting at the beginning. They won't have humility enough to submit to civil rule. They'll start to try to press their demands at political arena. They have ideas of their own instead of believing what they're told. And previlege and power typically doesn't want that. So they can react. And high school teachers who tries to get students to think may find opression and firing, and so on.
3.     You said a lot about the role of the media in our so-called democracy, and I'm wondering how you see the role of our education system, what it's doing right now, what forces are driving, what constraints there are, how should it operate.
4.     I quoted the tri-lateral commission's view of the educational system, namely it's the System of the Indoctrination of the Young. And I think that's correct. It's the System of the Indoctrination of the Young. That was how the liberal élites regarded, and they are more or less accurate. So, educational system is supposed to train people to be obedient, conformist, not think too much, do what you're told, stay passive, don't cause any crisis in democracy, don't raise any questions, and so on. That's basically what the, what the system is about. Even if the fact that the system has a lot of stupidity in it, I think it has a function. It means that people are filtered out for obedience. If you guarantee lots of stupidity in the educational system. Stupid assignment and things like that. You know that, only the people who make it through are people like me, and like most of you, I guess, who are willing to do it no matter how stupid it is because you want to go to the next step. So you may know this assignment is idiotic, guy up there couldn't think his way out of a paperback. But you'll do it anyway because that's the way you get to the next class. You wanna make it and so on and so forth. There are people who don't that, you know. There are people who say "I'm not gonna do this. This is ridiculous.", you know. Those people are called behavioural problems or something like that. They end up in a principal's office, on the streets selling drugs, whatever. All of these are technique for (selection for obedience). I don't know how to prove this, but I have a feeling, when you go to élite universities, you find more obedience and conformity. Probably because you're getting students who are better able to do it. All of that is functional. That's the way it works. And it works right through graduate school. I mean, if you… There are excep... I mean, by the time you get to graduate school, it's a little more vary because real contradiction develop in the system. Problem is you can't have progress this way. Especially, Science and Engineering. It's a problem because corporations need Science and Engineering. If you don't have innovation, you're really in trouble. So they have to encourage creativity and independence because you can't get anywhere if you just copy what someone told you. You have to be challenging things all the time. Challenging everything, you know. Thinking new thoughts, and so on. There you got a real contradiction. It's hard to train people to be creative, challenging, so on, and ensure, somewhere in their lives, they are conformist, obedient, and never think. So you have problems. That's a serious problem in Japan, incidentally. We think Japan is this tremendous superpower but that's very misleading. Japan, for example, is very poor in Science, for example. And they are aware of it. Part of the reason is. It's part of the same thing that makes them good workers. Obedient workers. (accurate) It's very obedient society. Very deferential and conformist society. And one effect of that is there are real constraints against independent, and free thinking. You see it in the science very clearly. The... But it's a problem here, too. They show up much less in Ideological subjects. Because it doesn't matter so much if people have. There is... Profits aren't made by Historians having original ideas about French Revolution. So they can have conventional ideas. That means pressure to try to support innovation and freedom is much less and pressure for conformity is, on the other hand, is much greater because Ideological subjects begin to be dangerous if people begin to their own thoughts. Not so dangerous if they have original ideas about Physics. Nevertheless, you begin to have a little flux in the system by the time you get to graduate school. Even at lower level, you find it. There are teachers who do stimulate thought. And sometimes they get away with it. And, all the way through, you know, if people are learning things, you can't just make them regurgitate what they heard.
5.     Now there are a lot of pressure to turn school into marine corps and there is a lot of support for it. For example, there is this best-seller, last couple of years by Allan Bloom. It was all over the supermarkets. Closing of the American Mind. Huge best-seller, supermarker racks which is where I read it, things like that. If you take a look at what he's saying, and there are, huge accolades, and so on. He was saying that a couple of smart guys will decide what the great thoughts are and every student will memorise them. That's education, okay? That's the way to turn people into pure automaton. Even if they happen to pick the great thoughts, there is no way less likely to get anybody to think about those thoughts than make them to curriculum. That finishes them off. And I think that's the purpose, really. The purpose is to impose authority, you know. Here are the great thoughts, all the other stuffs are rubbish, just learn these and you're okay. I'll pick them. You'll memorise them. That's basically the line. Now, of course, that's the opposite of education. That's the way you study Tom Odor (?) or something like that. But it's very popular. I think it reflects the same concern over the crisis in Democracy. In fact, Allan Bloom, himself was extremely, incident that really got to him was the case in Cornell where he was a professor. Where some black students took over one of admini.. one of the buildings. He said that, That's just like Nazis. Back to the Nazis. All the business about the Nazis, and so on and so forth. If you take a look at what happened. That isn't what he thought. Faculty capitulated. Just like Heidegger capitulated to Nazis and so on. What actually happened if you look back. There were real agreements. Undoubtedly, they shouldn't have done what they did, going there with guns, and so on. But it was settled very amicably. It was settled amicably. Nobody was killed. The agreements were // dealt with. Net result was better than it was before. He didn't tell you what he thought they should have done. But it's sort of implicit, I mean. They should have bombed the place or something like that. That's what really set them off. Generally, what set many people off was the. 60s are now described in the Literature as if it were times students running around, destroying the foundation of civilisation., and so on. What was actually going on was they were asking questions. They were raising questions. They were looking into things that haven't been looked into before. There were not just obedient. Point of view from a lot of faculties, that's equivalent of burning the buildings. That small distinction, they can't make that. And there's pressure to turn back to school when you didn't have to worry about things. Disobedient students asking questions about thing you didn't tell them to think about, and so on.

Chomsky. Transcript. Why marijuana is illegal and tobacco is legal.

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  US Drug Policy has been designed to try to compel people to drop using soft drugs like marijuana, and to turn to hard drugs like coke. That's actually the case. I don't say that they thought of this and decided to do it, but that's what the policies are. It's almost concomitant of the fact that marijuana is big and bulky and easy to detect, and highly industralised drugs are harder to detect. Furtheremore, there is another...  Somebody wants to do a research project, somebody around here wants to make sure you never get a job. You might look into the History of why marijuana is illegal and tobacco legal. I mean, tobacco is vastly more lethal and destructive than marijuana, they're not even  in the same domain, you know. Tobacco in fact is the most lethal substance around. Second most lethal substance known. The most lethal is sugar, I guess. Tobacco is close second. And... the... so.... Why is tobacco legal but marijuana illegal? Well, I think there's a speculation that comes to mind. Speculation is... Marijuana, it's kind of like solar energy. You can grow it anywhere. You can grow it on your back yard. It's weed. Grows everywhere. On the other hand, tobacco is an industrial crop. You can make money on it. Lot of input, takes lot of capital, and so on. Now, if you have something that everybody can do, you're not gonna make any profit on it. So you'd better make it illegal. On the other hand, if it's something people can make a lot of profit on it especially, you know, agri business, pesticide, fertiliser company, and so on. It had better be legal so you can get away with it. That's just speculation. I've never seen the study on the topic, but you might want to look into it. In any event. Again, if you don't want a job. That's qualification. The fact is, marijuana was made illegal, though... It's probably not good for you. There hasn't been one record of overdose with, I think, about 60 million users, as far as I'm aware. (Probably because it is impossible. I can prove it by means of BioChem.) Marijuna was essentially made illegal. And very high percentage of people now in jail are there because somebody found a marijuana joint in their pocket, quite literally. (accurate) So, Colombia, in fact, has shifted to producing coke from producing marijuana, which is mostly produced here.

24 Oktober 2012

Summary. Aspergers: A Gift or a Curse?


Copyright 2005 by Nova Science Publishers, Inc.
No address.

List of Tables
Autism and Asperger Syndrome
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Gift or Curse
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Frontal Lobe Hypothesis
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Medical Temporal Lobe Hypothesis
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Cerebellar Hypothesis
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Autism/Asperger Syndrome a Disorder of the Social Self
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William James Sidis (1898-1944)
Abraham Sperling, NYC, Aptitude Testing Institute, Nobody approach William Sidis
IQ between 250-300, Einstein 200
Child prodigy
Age eleven, Harvard Mathematical Club, Lecture on Four-dimensional bodies
By mid-twenties, Disappeared into obscurity, Lost all interest in math., Clerk in low-paying jobs, Described as 'obsessive and autistic-like'
Estranged from family, Tried to escape publicity
Died 46, Cerebral hemorrhage
The Rise and Fall of William James Sidis
A Rising Star
Age sixteen, The youngest professor of mathematics
'The Animate and the Inanimate', Predicted anti-matter and black-holes
Other intersts, Astronomy, anatomy and transport systems
Spoke more than forty lang.s, Repotedly, Able, Learn one language one day
Published in newspapers and magazines
Father, Boris, Believed, His child rearing practices not due to any herditary disposition, Believed in early educational intervention and based his method of child training on the writings of the philosopher William James and started educating his son at two years of age
Fall from Public Grace
A few years later, Newspapers, 'Youthful prodigy in trouble', decline of 'mathemtical wunderkind'
Age fiften, Turned his back on math., began Harvard Law School, did not finish it, Lost interest in academic pursuits
Age twenty, Taught math. for a short time at Rice Institutde, HTX, Suffered from severe bullying and ridicule by students, Emotionally immature teacher, Described as a social misfit (I must never forget this. Collective behvaiour rarely changes. They will do anything possible to prevent me from pursuing my interests. Police, Paramedics, Faculties, Employees, Students, they are all in a conspiracy. I must be strong and indifferent to their conspiracy.)
Interested in leftwing politics, In 1918, Anti-war May Day politics, Boston, riot, 18 months jail sentence, His father's intervention, Did not serve
Pursed life of anonymity and seclusion, Blamed his father for his failures, Estranged from family, Attempted to live normal life
Regularly hounded by the press, Ridiculed for not living up to his father's expectations of the Harvard genius
In 1924, New York Times, Lowly paid worker incapable of using his former gifts
In 1937, New Yorker, title April Fool, extraordinarily cruel article
Norber Wiener, child prodigy, 'pilloried like a side show freak for fools to grape at'
Sara Sidies, his mother, 1952, 'newspapers never missed the chance to try and prove that he was insane or psychotic or simply a freak'
Sidis's tragedy, manifold, Some, Unable to cope with early successes, Example of early prodigy burnout, Newspaper, Creator parents, particularly his father Boris, One member of Sidis's family, His parents incapable of being good parents, they had 'neither wisdom nor common sense', Norbert Wiener, Accused Sidis's parents of lack of providing 'the most basic emotional security a child needs to grow up normally', Ellen Winner, Reasons for some gifted children to deny their gifts are 'extreme pushing, domination, exploitation, which according to Winner is not always the result of negative environmental influences but may be part of the 'individual's personality and is related to the person's creativity'
Childhood and Family History
Parents
Both father and mother, highly intelligent individuals, Russian Jews, immigrated to America, Boris, Several lang.s, Taught himself Eng., in a few months on arriving in America, Harvard Univ., PhD and MD, Famous psychologist, 17 books and 52 articles throughout his life, Any child if educated the right way had the potential to become a genius, One of his books, Used his son as illustration of his theories, Difficulties understanding human interactions, and the mechanics of everyday living which he left to his wife
Clear indications, Boris had AS or broader autism phenotype
mother Sarah, illiterate when arriving in US, Medical degree, Book, Original title How to make our child a genius, published another title
Childhood
Age six months, First word door, rapid increase in vocab.
Age 18 months, New York Times
Wallace, biographer, 'by the time Billy turned three his voracity for learning was in full swing and it became apparent that he was not even an ordinary precocious little boy'
Often reported early facility for language development in children with AS, 'they talk before they walk'
Early Special Interests
His mother, 'Billy was seven months old he pointed to the moon and called it by name'
Wallace, 'Trips to the window sbecame a nightly ritual and he was pleased when he could see the moon'
Early interest, spelling
Age five, Method for instantly calculating the day of the week on which any given date, past or future
Age seven and a half, Two part book on calendars
Age six and eight, At least four books, Two of them Anatomy and Astronomy, Two of them, Grammar, Ling. and Math.
Age eight, Interests, Math., Astronomy, Foreign lang. (Lat., Gr., Russ., Fr., Ger., Heb., Turkish, Armenian), Anatomy, Map and calendar making
Photographic memory, Quote and the numbers of the pages
The repetitiveness involved in pursuing these special interests is thought to be anxiety reducing, calming and comforting.
Practical Skills
Biographer, 'Was years behind the development of normal children in terms of grooming, tying his shoelaces or getting dressed appropriately'
Social Functioning
Childhood
Biographer, 'How many other toddlers like to discuss Caesar's Gallic Wars in the original Latin'
Possible rare exceptions, Always company of adults, Very typical features of children with AS, Prefer to be with either much older children or adults with their peers whom they find too unpredictable
Often try to engage their conversational partners in. skip.
Highschool, Completed four year curriculum in six weeks, Teacher aid, Correct senior papers, Nickname 'professor', Taught seniors how to tackle physics problems before he had officially studied it himself
Biographer, Incident, Highschool headmaster began reading the bible and Billy jumped out in front of 1000 students, pressed his hands over his ears and explained "I don't believe in that. I don't want to hear that", Next two years, Studied at home, Math., 'reading Einstein and checking for possible errors'
Adolescence and Adulthood
Entering Harvard, Social problems increased, Considered to be an accentric, Reclusive and did not have many friends, Described as a misfit, Someone who had no social instincts, a complete freak in the eyes of his fellow students he had none of the social graces, no interest in sports or girls, Was ridiculed and was stated that 'the young Einstein couldn't make change for a phone call', Mercilessly bullied and teased by his peers
Junior year in Harvard, Mediocre grades
Rice Institude, HTX, even more difficult, Teased relentlessly about his social ineptitude, Wallace, his eight months in TX, Outcast, They would make fun of him and he 'would put his hands over his face or hold his arms out in front of him and his hands and arms would tremble violently', Brilliant research student, completely hopeless teacher
Portrayed as 'a die hard misogynist'
TX girls, 'they flirt too much. It was very annoying.'
No interest in any sexual activities, Vow of celibacy, age fifteen, Is believed that kept his vow until death
After graduation from Harvard, told the reporters, 'I want to live the perfect life. The only way to live the perfect life is to live it in seclusion. I have always hated crowds'
'thinking/analysing pondering abstractions - was his refuge, his place of privacy and play'
Later life, Hardly any friends, only some acquantances, Billy Rab, 'he was not kind of guy who would fit into a social group'
Biographer, 'not too practical, naïve and an idealist'
His siter, 'Stragithforward and utterly frank, and would tell everybody just what he thought of them, and that is not the best way', She felt that he never learned to lie
May day demonstration, Arrested and badly beaten up, Did not understand the charge, 'I do not idolize the red flag - it is just a piece of red silk'
Special Interests
Mathematics
Restaurant, Copy of Einstein's final formula of relativity on a table where one of his friends was sitting. Although he was approximately three or four feet away from the table and could only see the figures upside down, he spotted a mistake. His friend had made a small mistake when copying Einstein's formula. 'He had set down a quantity of the 6th power when it should have been to the quantity of the 7th power. The power was indicated by a small number written above and to the right of a letter on the lengthy equation'.
Other Interests
Fascination with indian tribes, detective novels, libraries, history of towns, maps of Boston, mystical orientation such as an interest in the Ouija board, learning of lang.s, American lang. (the language of the people who were largely not educated), the public transit systems, and many more
Fascination, Streetcar transfer collecting, Started age five, In mid twenties, more than 1600 transfers, Published pseudonym 'Notes on the Collection of Transfers', His biographer called it 'the most boring book ever written', Memorised thousands of transit routes throughout the US, Memorising of facts, common feature
Eccentricities
Strange eating habits, Clear indication for sameness, Crackers and milk for breakfast, Crackers and cheese for lunch, Milk for dinner
Isaac Rabinowitz, 'on the brightest sunny day William always wore a three piece suit usually dark and he'd always carry a raincoat or an overcoat over his arm...He always had his jacket open with his vest buttoned tight'
Neglect personal hygiene, Wallace, 'He did not bath very often and smelt badly. He wore sneakers with no socks and he would scratch his legs in the summer' 'He did not care for conventional greetings, was reluctant to say hello or good-bye or to shake hands'
Autistic Savant
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What Was Wrong with William James Sidis
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Kurt Gödel (1906-1978)
Childhood and Family History
Born where and when
His father, Intersted in logic and reason, Was of 'serious and ponderous disposition'
Mother, Well educated and cultured, Encouraged the early education of her children
Paternal grandfather, Josef, Alledgedly suicide
Rudolf, His brother, their parents's marriage 'was not a love match, although 'it was certainly built on affection and sympathy'
Age four, Family called him 'der Herr Warum'
Dawson, 'earnestly serious, bright and inquisitive child who was sensitive, often withdrawn or preoccupied, and who, already at an early age, exhibited certain signs of emotional instability'
His brother, Gödel suffered a 'miled anxiety neurosis' at age five
Somewhat sickly child, Age eight, Rheumatic fever, Stopped going to school for sometime, Beginning of lifelong preoccupation with health and diet according to biographer
Early Interests
Age ten, Keenly interested in mathematics, religion and lang.s, Excellent chess player
Studied Lat., Fr., Eng., After death, Notebook, Ita., Dutch, Gr.
Autodidact
Age fourteen, Goethe's color theory
His brother, Rudolph, 'Mastered University Mathematics by his final Gymnasium years much to the astonishment of his teachers and fellow pupils'
No interest in physical activities, Exempted from physical education and turned away from swimming and gymnastics
Harry Klepeta, friend, 'his interest in math. and phy. [had already] manifested itself(dotdotdot) at the age of 10'
Adulthood
Difficulties with human interaction and social integration, his lack of empathy, his narrow and obsessive interests, his pronounced childishness but also the comorbity with mood disorders, hypochondria and irrational fears
Social Behaviour
Shy introvert
Math. at Univ. of Vienna, Member of Vienna Circle
Biographer, 'although Gödel was an attentive observer and clearly brilliant, he rarely contributed to the Circle's discussions, unless they were about math.'
Biographer, 'a reticent genius' 'shy and reclusive' 'few close friends'
'shied away from controversy(dotdotdot) And so held back from open criticism of the Circle's tenets. As was his habit in such formal gatherings, he was content most of the time to listen to what others had to say, only occasionally interjecting incisive comments'
Dawson, 'To persist in asking 'unanswerable' questions can quickly lead to social isolation, for the questioner is more likely to be reckoned a crank than a genius. Indeed, to seek rationality in all things is, from a modern point of view, a profound irrational Zeitgeist. skip.
Karl Menger, 'I never heard him take the floor(dotdotdot) He indicated interest solely by slight motions of the head, in agreement, skeptically or in disagreement(dotdotdot) his expression (oral as well as written) was always of the greatest precision and at the same time of exceeding brevity. In nonmath. conversation he was very withdrawn'
Olga Taussky-Todd, 'was well trained all branches of math. and you could talk to him about any problem and receive an excellent response. If you had a particular problem in mind he would start by writing it down in symbols. He spoke slowly and very calmly and his mind was very clear(dotdotdot) It became slowly obvious(dotdotdot) that he was incredibly talented. His help was much in demand(dotdotdot)[and] he offered [it] whenever it was needed(dotdotdot) But he was very silent'
Friendships/Relationships
Hardly any close friends, A few acquaintances who shared his intellectual pursuits, One of them, Einstein
Only truly close relationship, Wife Adele Porkert, Dancer in Viennese nightclub
Parents, strongly disapproved of marriage, She was more than six years older, She was Catholic, Lower-class family, Face disfigured by a port wine stain, Social outcast herself
Lack of Empathy
Biography, 'displayed monstrous purblindness to the plight of European Jews'
In 1939, Returned to Vienna, Medical Examination by Nazi armed forces, Because he remained 'oddly unmoved' by politics
Dawson, 'His lack of emotional engagement with people may have kept him from appreciating the significance of what was happening. He seemed oblivious to the fates befalling his colleagues and professors, many of whom were Jewish, and stayed immersed in his work while the world around him fell apart'
Naïveté/Childishness
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Narrow Interests/Obsessiveness
Mathematics
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Other Interests
Other interests, parapsychology, superstition, sorcery, telepathy and religion
Believed in telepathy and felt that there was a 'high probability' that elementary psychic factors' (as opposed to physical factors) might exist, Keenly interested in foreign lang.
Routines Control Issues
Dawson, 'retained almost every scrap of paper that crossed his desk, including library request slips, luggage tags, crank correspondence and letters from autograph seekers and math. amateurs'
'In the world of math. everything is well poised and in perfect order' 'Shouldn't the same be assumed (expected) for the world of reality, contrary to apperance?'
Co-Morbidity
Child, signs of emotional instability, Adult, a number of 'mental breakdowns'
After publication of his famous work, Signs of depression, Comitted against his will to a sanatorium for a couple of weeks (There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who understand this and those who do not.)
Chronic hypochondriac, Avoided eating food, Became malnourished
Variety of pills for imaginary heart problems
Later in life, Ignored bleeding ulcer, Because mistrust of doctors, Almost death
Ramanujan, very poor and erratic eating habits
Conclusion
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Stanley Kubrick (1928-1999)
Childhood and Adolescence
His biographers, Abscence from school, due to 'adjustment problems'
Grades and social skills, quite low, His father worried
Age eight, Home tuition
Biographer, disturbed other students by his habit of talking during class
Teachers at Taft High School, critised his behaviour and social skills, received low marks in 'courtesy, dependability and cooperation'
'an underachiever with less than acceptable socialisation with his peers and teachers'
No incidences of bullying
'unmotivated pupil' 'unanimated lacklustre student' 'completely inattentive' 'indifference and boredom in the class'
Finished high school 'he was ranked 414 out of a senior population of 509, putting him in the last quartile of his graduating class'
Herman Getter, art teacher, 'Picasso of cinematography' 'brilliant mind', the reason bad grade math. phy. science, No interest in them
Due to low grade, No entry to college, Autodidact
Early Special Interests and Social Functioning
Early age, Fascinated, Photography, Shared with friend, Marvin Traub
Age 14, Lifelong obssession with photography
Marvin's aunt, 'would ring the doorbell every five minutes'
Both Kubrick and Traub, not very social, 'lone young men on a photographic mission'
One of his contemporaries (who?), 'very private person'
Appearance did not hlep in encouraing friendship, 'a flabby kid with a probing glare' 'an aquiline nose, sharp, piercing eyes, not warm and friendly but sharp, aggressive and intense'
Age seventeen, Interst in music, Played percussion, 'very faraway, dreamy look in his eyes as if he wasn't with us'
Visits to cinema 'eight times a week' (Exactly me.)
Became fascinated with movies and movie-making
Believed that he could do easily as well as the Hollywood movies, if not better. (Exactly me)
In true autistic fashion he did not just watch a movie because he was interested in topic but because he needed to learn everything about his new interest.
Helen O'Brian, head of photography department at Look magazine, 'The kid had an eye and technical skills' (When did he start magazines and quit magazines?)
All consuming interest, chess, Reportedly, Twelve hours a day, Linked to interest with war and the military
Social Impairments
'Stanley was so within himself. Deep thinkers are in a world of their own'
School, Described as 'eccenteric' 'he was his own person and didn't mingle too much' 'his solitary demeanour closed him off to the majority of the student body but he remained very open to those who would connet to his particular world'
Marriage
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Friendships
Christiane, third wife, Did not like the Hollywood parties they used to go to when they were young, 'This is murder' 'He'd rather go to jail' (Exactly me)
'phone person' 'he felt more concentrated on the phone, so he had many purely telephone friendships'
Empathy
'His emotions went into the synapses of his brain and were translated into visions' (The fuck does this mean?)
Recluse
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Eccentricity, Non-Verbal Behaviour
Christiane, 'the most eccentric thing about him was that he looked different' 'baby-faced kid' 'he looked out of place and sounded effected to people'
Hardly every disaplayed any emotions, Always calm and cool
Journalist, LA Herald-Examiner, 'His hypnotic eyes, dominated by peculiarly strong brows, still outstare outsiders, friends, even family'
Preservation of Sameness
Co-workers, 'He wore the same shirt, same pants, and the same coat for what seemed to the crew to be weeks on end'
All-Absorbing Interests
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Perfectionism and Attention to Detail
Biographer, 'He always planned for everything that he was going to do. Enormous preparation was his strength.'
'aloof, perfectionistic attitude to making a film'
Saul Bass, 'I can't say he's reasonable. I can only say that he's obssessive in the best sense of the word because reasonableness doesn't make anything good'
'he was able to totally focus on his work and ignore everything else'
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Control
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Workaholic
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Humour
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Phobias
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The Man and His Work
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Conclusion
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Enoch Powell (1912-1998)
Family Background
Impairment in Reciprocal Social Interaction
Childhood
Adolescence and Young Adulthood
Loneliness
Peers
Female Friendships
Asperger Characteristics
All Absorbing Narrow Interests
Enoch Powell the Poet
Imposition of Routines and Interests
Speech and Language Problems
Non-Verbal Communication Problems
Conclusion
Alfred Kinsey (1894-1956)
Family Background
Impairment in Social Interaction
Lack of Social Competence
Sexual Identity and Marriage
Lack of Empathy
Restricted all Absorbing Narrow Intersts
The Collector - Wasps and Sex
Focus of Attention
Observations and Recordings
Imposition of Routines and Intersts on Self and on Others
Control and Order
Sexuality and Perversion
Co-Morbidity
Conclusion
Patricia Highsmith (1921-1995)
Family Background
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Childhood
Recurring nightmare, She is surrounded by nurses and doctors who believe that she has some type of unspeakable deficiency. (Great insight, very illuminating, A child can know)
'escape into a parallel universe: the endlessly thrilling world of fiction'
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Lesbianism and Gender Identity
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Social Impairments
Extremely shy child and hypersensitive
Letter to Arthur Koestelr, 'dreadful shyness, of teens and twenties, that was like a physical pain'
Throughout her life, Enormous problems expressing her emotions
Vivien de Bernardi, Friend in Switz., difficulties with intimacy
Daniel Keel, literary executor, after twenty years, started sharing her thoughts and feelings
Fellow students at Barnard, 'reserved, reticent, and rather shadowy figure'
Described as loner, superior, not having any friends, difficult to get to know
Another student, 'as a distant figure, a handsome girl who made no effort to integrate with her peers'
None of her fellow students could remember having conversations with her and recall that she would not show any emotions even when she received praise.
Lovers
Promiscuous. skip. Unable to maintain relationship. skip.
Friends and Acquaintances
Limited number of friends and acquaintances
Vivien de Bernardi, during a party she had disappeared and locked herself in the bathroom 'She just couldn't stand it, there were too many people, too much talking, she did not know what to say, how to act, what to do. It was just overwhelming for her'
Vivien de Bernardi, She would always speak her mind even if it was insulting to other people, she was unable to inhibit her thoughts, and did not even understand that she was rude to others
Portrayed as very unbalanced, hostile and misanthropic and unable for any relationships. When people wanted to become her friends she drove her away.
Communication Problems
Friend (who? I can find out), 'Pat was such a wonderful writer, but she couldn't write a dialogue'
Barbara Grier, publisher of naiad Press in the 1980s, 'Talking with her was like pulling teeth'
Carl Laszlo, 'She was a writer, not a speaker'
Sunday Times Magazine, First Love, Critized for sounding very aritifical and having nothing to do with emotional expressions of love
Heather Chasen, Highsmith unable to portray female characters in her books they appeared wooden and without life indicating her lack of insight into the female mind.
Loneliness
Patricia Schartle, US agent in the 1950s, Struck by the sense of loneliness, sadness and lack of joy surrounding Highsmith
Asked whether she could tolerate living alone on a fictional desert island, 'I think I could better than most people probably' (If you have to live in an island...., a subtle insult to Aspies for they can 'smell' it)
Non-Verbal Behaviour
Patricia Schartle, 'Gauche to an extreme, really physically clumsy as well as boyish' 'absolutely no grace' (a revenge from former lover or objective opinion?)
Vivien de Bernardi, ill fitting and masculine looking clothes
Sir Michel Levey, meeting in Positano, Italy, unsual appearance, severe looks, untidy hair, Red Indians, contributions to conversation, few grunts, idiosyncratic and distinctly intriguing personality
Sensory Sensitivities
Hypersensitivity to touch and noise (the most important to me)
Friend, disliked being touched
Tobias Ammann, her architect, dislike for shaking hands
Vivien de Bernardi, opera, la Scala, Milan, hated experience, unable to bear the intense high-pitched sounds
Vivien de Bernardi, local supermarket, panic and fall apart, unable to handle the noise, the amount of people, worried that somebody might recognize her and even attempt to touch her
Inflexibility and Preservation of Sameness
Kingsley, did not like her eating while standing up, always had to sit down and eat with knife and fort, ashtray moved, she would immediately return it to its original position (so illuminating)
Order, Perfection and Cleanliness
Marion, obsession about cleaning and her need for having several showers during the day
Austerity
House in france, 'auster place, lived in but empty at the same time' 'bare severe not overly comfortable'
House in Switz. skip.
Misanthropy
Schartle, slyness, meaness, misanthropy, which she thought part of her personality, the only time laughed, poster of a child with gouged out eyes
Babies should be eradicated early in order to prevent overpopulation
Vatican, wanted destroyed by US bombs, disagreed with Pope's resistance on birth control
Around age fifty, misanthropy almost 'Swiftian intensity'
Misogyny
skip.
Humour
Jonathan Kent, his grandmother, his mother, bunch of daffodils, grandmother thought, flowers were advancing army, Kent thought sad, Highsmith 'screaming with laughter'
Animals
Great lover of animals
Cats, Friend, delicious meals for her two cats, Talk to them in special cat lang.
Snails, Empathy for her animals, Constantly anxious that something might happen to her cats while she was living in NYC
When moved to Fr., snails against the law, smuggled them under her breasts
Cats, unlike human beings they gave her companionship wihtout making 'demands and intrusions'
Gudrun Mueller, one of favourite cats, death by vet, the only time cried
Bruno Sager, 'for her human beings were strange, she thought she would never understand them, and perhaps that is why she liked cats and snails so much'
Money
'pathologically stingy' 'miserly behaviour'
Vivien de Bernardi, ever possessed one swimsuit
Alcohol
skip.
Positive Aspects of Her Personality
skip.
Sense of Justice
skip.
Autistic Superego
Biographer, 'At times she felt in need of punishment and these masochistic impulses expressed themselves through tortured poetry'
One of poems, 'I am too much master of myself'
Psychiatric Co-Morbidity
Depression
skip.
Schizoid Personality
skip.
Genetic Factors
skip.
Amorality/Abnormality/Psychopathy/Guilt
  Was Highsmith a psychopath? The classic definition of psychopathy as proposed by Cleckley includes deviant personality traits such as lack of empathy, lack of guilt, shallow affect and manipulation of others. Current research shows that adult psychopathic  individuals show a reduced moral and conventional distinction. Highsmith certainly had very strong psychopathic tendencies. One possible distinction between individuals with psychopathy and autism is that the former have no obvious theory of mind impairment (in fact, they must possess an extremely well developed theory of mind in order to deceive people) but a profound impairment in empathy, whereas the latter show impairments in both (they have difficulties in deceiving people as well as lack of empathy.)
Roger Clarke, Portrayal of amorality in Highsmith, truly authentic, Believes that Highsmith was amoral, 'There was this strange blankness about her'
All Absorbing Interest, Search for Identity
Obssessed with work
Madeleine, 'without her work Patricia would have ended up either in a mental hospital or in a home for alcoholics' (accurate) 'the characters she writes about, they are her(dotdotdot)all those strange characters haunting other people, and thinking and fantasising about them, they were her. She was her writing.'
Believed that her creativity was an expression of her frustration and suppression of her sexual impulse
Age sixteen, Anorexia, Biographer's opinion, Desire to erase her identity, link between anorexia and autisme
Charles Latimer, 'she was Ripley, or I should say, she would have liked to have been him'
Contradictions
skip. Is Gender Identity Disorder deserve to be 'treated'?
Conclusion
skip.
Joy Adamson (1910-1980)
Childhood and Family History
Depression
Social Impairments
First Marriage
Second Marriage
Third Marriage
Sexuality
Violence and Cruelty
Control, Eccentricity and Self-Centeredness
Isolation
All Absorbing Interests
Painting
Animals
Books, Money and Publicity
Narrative Ability and Impaired Autobiographical Memory
The End
Charles Darwin (1809-1882)
Family Background
skip.
Impairment in Social Interaction
Grew up wealth and comfort
Keen on 'collecting anything that captured his interest, from shells to rocks, insects to birds's eggs'
White and Gribbin, Biographers, lonely child
Autobiography, cruel to animal, 'sense of power it gave him'
Detested 'regimented learning'
Evenings, in his bedroom
School, 'old before his time and a very serious fellow'
Marriage
Around age thirty, Decided marry, Analytical point of view
Concern, Marriage suffocate him, stop his travelling activities, taking up too much of his time, 'children might disturb his peace' (exactly me)
Emma Wedgwood
Casual attitude on wedding day, Regarded ceremony as rather silly, 'shown little regard for the feelings of his new wife Emma or the two families', No proper wedding reception, Rushed Emma to the railway station and caused upset with some of his relative
Affect and Intellect
skip.
All Absorbing Interests
Chemistry
Cambridge, Most of his allowance, 'latest gadgetry and chemicals for his solitary hobby', Correspondence to his brothers, 'full of chemical chat, and discussion of their shared hobby, leaving little rrom or comment on family matters'
Observing and Collecting
Edinburgh, most of his time, 'reading the latest scientific, medical and political literature'
HMS Beagle, a huge amount (I must remember that, when Aspie's collection is moved, it is considered a labor of great effort.)
Curiosity or Maliciousness
'displayed an insatiable desire to kill birds of any variety'
'peculiar obssession'
'cared for nothing but shooting dogs and rat-catching' 'will be disgrace to himself and all of his family'
Focus of Attention
Biographers, 'Always had the habit of reducing everything to its fundamentals, of parrying all arguments with cold scientific logic'
'he deliberately chose to cut himself off from the world'
Originality
skip.
An Eye for Details
skip.
Creativity
skip.
Routines and Sameness
'On one occasion he was so deep in thought that he feel into a ditch' (Thales?)
'same path almost every day and when he first formed the habit he used to count the number of times he completed the circuit, kicking a flint onto the path at the end of each lap'
'Counting the laps and kicking the markers was all part of the mantra guiding the patterns of his thoughts'
his life, 'incredibly organised fashion, following a routine which was hardly ever altered' (He was a lucky man. It has been my aspire to achieve this since I read this for the first time.)
Children got older and left home, Darwin and his wife, 'became even more mechanical and regulated'
Ardent letter writer, 14 000 between 1821 and 1882
Illness
No doubt, depression
skip.
Loner and Eccentric
Young, 'road outside his house lowered to thwart prying eyes and fitted a mirror outside his study window in order to have advance warning of visitors'
Michael Neve, 'shunned public life, indeed he almost shunned life itself'
Differential Diagnosis
skip.
Conclusion
skip.
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
Whether, AS or Schizoid
Asperger Syndrome versus Schizoid Personality in Childhood
skip.
Social Relationship Problems
Loneliness and Sense of Self
Autobiography, solitariness of each human soul and that the loneliness of the human soul was unendurable
Monk, 'his acute sense of isolation and loneliness' 'overcome his solitariness through contact with something outside himself: another individual, humanity at large or the external world'
'Dostoyevsky's Regojin, the sinister, embittered murderer of the Idiot, consumed by hatred, disappointment and jealousy', fictional character, most identified
'I am quite different to the mass of human beings' 'I live most for myself - everything has for me, a reference to my own education. I care for very few people and have several enemies - for three at least whose pain is delightful to me. I often wish to give pain and when I do, I find it pleasant for the moment. I feel myself superior to most people'
Monk, inner life, 'the picture of a ghost, a quasi-substantial being only partially in contact with the people around him, someone whose impassability has rendered him almost dead of all warmth and emotions'
Russell, 'I shall never lose the sense of being a ghost'
Recurrent dream, being trapped behind glass like an aquarium fish, unable to make any human contact
To Lady Ottoline, 'how passionately I long that one could break through the prison walls in one's own nature'
'he had never felt he really belonged though he managed to dilute himself at different moments' 'more than ever a stranger on this planet'
'The Study of Mathematics' 'Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth, but supreme beauty, a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture, without appeal to any part of our weaker nature....' 'real life is, to most men, a long second-best a perpetual compromise between the ideal and the possible; but the world of pure reason knows no compromise, no practical limitations' 'remote from human passions' 'the region of absolute necessity'
Childhood and Adolescence
Autobiography, 'the most important hours of my day were those that I spent alone in the garden and the most vivid of my experience was solitary. I seldom mentioned my most serious thoughts to others and when I did I regretted it(dotdotdot) throughout my childhood I had an increasing sense of loneliness and despair of even meeting anyone with whom I could talk'
At school, 'teased and he suffered minor humiliations almost daily' 'on one occasion in an excess of fury, I got my hands on his throat and started to strangle him. I intended to kill him but when he began to go livid, I relented. I do not think that he knew that I intended murder'
Late Adolescence and Adulthood
Trinity College, 'shy and awkward' 'very lonely and very unhappy'
Intimate Relationships
Barbara Strachey, 'cold to women, selfish, and also a goat'
Breda Utley, 'terrific sexual urges' which caused him to 'assume the repulsive expression of a lustful satyr'
Dora Russell, 'this coolness and detachment in personal relations to be a Russell characteristic'
'I have made a mess of my private life'
Other Social Relationships
Monk, 'To research the personal aspects of Russell's life is to pick through a long trail of emotional wreckage that inlcudes broken-hearted lovers, embittered ex-wives, a son who felt destroyed by his father and grandchildren who have preserved throughout their lives a passionate hatred for him'
'streak of cruelty and extraordinary coldness(dotdotdot) in his dealings with those closest to him' 'for Russell love seemed not to imply merging another self into his own. He remained trapped in the boundaries of himself.'
Anthony Howard, to Ottoline Morrell, 'when I talk to an ordinary person, I feel I am talking baby language and it makes me lonely' 'alienation from the rest of humanity'
Brink, 'Russell's uncertainty about feeling is the crucial issue in estimating the worth of what he bequeathed to our culture'
All Absorbing Interests
Allan Wood, russell sought objective truth everywhere 'in science, math., logic and religion just as much as in philosophy' 'fundamentally a scholar, interested in pursuit of pure knowledge and pure reason'
Autobiography, 'for intellectual satisfaction about the things that puzzle me'
'the world with mathematics(dotdotdot) is a beautiful world; it has nothing to do with life and death and human sordidness, but is eternal, cold and passionless. To me pure mathematics is the only thing we know of that is capable of perfection'
Kate Russell, fascinated by 'trains and timetables'
His extraordinary achievements in the spheres of mathematics were perhaps a means of overcoming his loneliness and filling his inner emptiness. Brink also suggests that the reason for his attraction to mathematics was because it was not human. Mathematics follows laws and is predictable, in contrast, human behaviour is not rule governed and not predictable.
Speech and Non-Verbal Behaviour
skip.
Imposition of Routines and Control
'liked everything to be in its place and resented change as a waste of time, using valuable concentration which could better go on intellectual pursuits'
Yearning for perfection, Intolerant of 'blemishes and faults in himself and others'
'scold his partners at croquet and whist, so that everyone hates to play with him, and he has to be arranged for pampered every hour of the day'
Alys 'seemd to be his slave'
After finishing 'Principles of Mathematics', to Lucy Donnelly, 'abstract work, if one wishes to do it well, must be allowed to destroy one's humanity; one raises a monument which is at the same time a tomb, in which voluntarily, one slowly inters oneself'
Conclusion
skip.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Alan Ryan, 'there is no doubt that Russell made himself and many other people close to him extraordinarily unhappy; there is no dbout that he was frequently cruel and thoughtless in ways that a less self-engrossed person would not have been; and no doubt that he was casually dismissive of less talented people than himself, and that hte reverse of the coin was a painful degree of self-loathing. When monk says that Russell's life was a tragedy, he is not far off the mark'
Differential Diagnosis
skip.
Robert Walser (1878-1956)
Doubts on Walser's Diagnosis of Schizophrenia
Asperger Syndrome
Childhood and Adolescence
Qualitative Impairment in Social Interaction
Restricted Patterns of Behaviour and Interests
Creative Genius
Eccentricity
Genetic Contribution
Conclusion
Schizoid Personality Disorder
Social/Emotional Impairment and Narrow Intersts
Sexuality and Identity Problems
Excessive Preoccupation with Fantasy and Introspection
Marked Insensitivity to Social Norms and Conventions
Conclusions
Walser's Diagnosis of Schizophrenia
Examination of Walser's Diagnosis of Schizophrenia Based on Current Diagnostic Criteria
Conclusion
Differential Diagnosis
Conclusion
Asperger Syndrome, Gift or Curse
Disability or Personality Type
Success or Struggle, Factors Influencing Prognosis and Outcome
Heterogeneity
Comorbidity
Exceptional Abilities
Autistic Personality
Concluding Remarks

What I did today. Oct 23, 2012.

October 23rd, 2012, Tue

  I left the apt. after 8 AM. My plan was to alter two pairs of jeans and a "hoodie" at Martin Tailor (mnemotecnique. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy and Taylor Swift?) between Shephard and Feenan. I planned to take unwanted clothes to the Salvation Army between McGowen and La Branch. The clothes were in laundry bag and it weighted 10 pounds, more or less (", I think."). 15 pounds? Metro. It was crowded. I disliked it. I exited at McGowen. I walked. I was determined to take the clothes to the Salvation Army between McGowen and La Branch because it was the place where I took them in the past when I had vehicles. I arrived. I was already soaked with sweat. Receipt. I walked to Macy's between Main and McKinney. A construction worker belched purposely when I walked past him. I was reminded of something. I bought an orange juice, an Evian, and a lighter at a shop across Macy's. The department store opened at 10:30. I waited for a few minuted in front of an entrance. I bought one pair of briefs. It cost more than 25 USD and less than 28 USD. I took a Metro to Downtown Transit Center. I discovered that the bus number 36 (six square two) stops on Milam Str., which is one block north of McKinney Str. I took a Metro again. I found the bus stop for Number 36. I waited and took a bus. The bus stopped in front of Houston Public Library-Main Branch. He said that the one I took was for Downtown "circle" only. I waited in front of Houston Public Library-Main Branch. I wanted to defecate. I entered the library. First floor, Men's room. I defecated and wore the recently purchased briefs. I waited in front of the library. I decided to take a taxi. The taxi stopped between Shepherd and Feenan. It cost more than 12 USD and less than 13 USD, incl. tip 1 USD. I entered Martin Tailor. It was after 10 AM. I changed into two pairs of jeans and a black "hoodie". (Hood, Boyz 'n the Hood, Punk, Pink, My 'hood, you have to learn how to run before you can walk!.) I was told that it would cost 45 USD and they would be ready at 2 PM. I felt slightly exhilirated because I could walk around (between Shephard and Feenan) for four hours. It turned out that I should have planned what I wanted to do during the time. I walked to the Mex. restaurant across Cova, which faces El Tiempo restaurant on Washington. I bought two tacos. Rice, beans, and some meat. I used Men's room to urinate. I returned to Martin Tailor. I ate the tacos. They were delicious as usual. I entered the tailor shop, it was after noon. I asked when the alteration would be "done". I was told, at 1 PM. I decided to walk on Washington eastbound. I stopped at the comic-book store on Washington. I began to feel tired. I stopped at the stanEry store on Washington. I bought eight pens and white cotton papers. They cost more than 22 USD and less than 24 USD. I stopped at Bank of America between Washington and Heights. I checked the balances with a teller. All I remember is she was black and short. I began to feel exhausted. I continued walked on Washington eastbound. I stopped at the clothing store on Washington, which is near the Broken Spoke Café. I looked at some jeans and memorised their prices. Almost all of them were 179 USD. 17-9 USD. I asked the clerk whether I can use the telephone. I called Martin Tailor. I was told that they were ready. I left the clothing store and continued walked on Washington. I turned right on Yale?. I turned right on Memorial and walked westbound. I walked on Bayou Park or something. This was when I began to feel extreme fatigue and thirst and strong soreness on my thigh muscles. The usual "Houston heat" without humidity was "helpful" and pleasant. I walked across Memorial on Waugh Str. I continued walking. Extreme fatigue and thirst and strong soreness on my thigh muscles. I arrived at Martin Tailor. I entered a convenience store and bought two Gatorades and one Ozarka. I drank Gatorades. I entered the tailor shop. I paid and took the clothes. It was after 2 PM. I rested at the High School for Law Enforcement. I walked toward the bus stop between Waugh and Dallas. I arrived at the bus stop. A single mother who had probably just left the Women's Center and a black male, tall, were present. Someone honked loudly to express hostility toward me. Possibly, another redneck religious-nut, self-righteous, who lives in his "own little world". I didn't give a shit who and what he was. Bus. Someone was present. A while male, my height, skinny. He was "texting". I observed him. They spend their whole fucking lives by "texting". I felt nothing but pity.
  Someone wakes up at approximately 2 AM because his mind tries to prevent him from having a nightmare. He washes his face with cold water and lies on his bed. He thinks about Newton's Principia. The relationship between straight-line movement and circular movement. He watches the earth turn slightly. He retrieves the list of Time Zones. He checks Central Time Zone, Pacific Time Zone, and East Time Zone. He checks the time in Paris. He retrieves the Latin text of Principia and De Analysi and muse them.
  They spend their whole fucking lives by "texting". It's something which I have observed since the year 2000. They don't give a shit about the pursuit of Truth. What he was "writing", "I don't know and I don't give a shit". He exited the bus between Montrose and Richmond. I fell asleep (dosed?) between Montrose and Bissonnet and woke up between Main and University. I fell asleep (dosed?) again and woke up at TMC Transit Center. Metro. Apt. It was after 4:30 PM. I slept and woke up after 7:30 PM.
  An eventful day. It would have been much "easier" if I had brought something to occupy myself between (after 10 AM) and (after 2 PM). I walked for approximately 4 hrs. I could have drunk wine at Max's Wine Bar.

22 Oktober 2012

Memories on Sara Mason.

During one of the lesson on Fr. lang. at Inversion Coffee, Sara Mason said that Ger. lang. is weird because Noun is capitalised. At that moment, I knew that she would never master Ger. lang. because she revealed her self-rationalization for not learning Ger. lang. She will always live in her own little world, i.e. Eng., Fr., and Span. I must be courageous.

21 Oktober 2012

Books which I have read.

Tigerlily's Orchids by Ruth Rendell
Death in Holy Orders by PD James
The Private Patient by PD James
Red Dragon by Robert Harris (2nd time)
The Silence of the Lambs (2nd time)
Hannibal (2nd time)
Hannibal Rising
Wiseguy by Nicolas Pileggi (2nd time)

17 Oktober 2012