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I will memorize this, an excerpt from adaptation written by Charlie Kaufman.

          I am old. I am fat. I am bald. My
          toenails have turned strange. I am
          repulsive. How repulsive? I don't know
          for I suffer from a condition called Body
          Dysmorphic Disorder. I am fat, but am I
          as fat as I think? My therapist says no,
          but people lie. I believe others call me
          Fatty behind my back. Or Fatso. Or,
          facetiously, Slim. But I also believe
          this is simply my own perverted form of
          self-aggrandizement, that no one really
          talks about me at all. What possible
          interest is an old, bald, fat man to
          anyone? I am repulsive. I have never
          lived. I blame myself. I --