Signs that you watch too much pornography.

a) If you find sexual innuendo in everything that is said to you. For example:
1. Here try this, just put it in your mouth.
2. I'm here to clean your pipes
3. I love sausage pizza
4. Get all up in my shit
If you find sexual innuendo in any of the above, you might watch too much porn.
b) If you think any woman in a professional situation is only reading lines until she ends up unzipping your pants, you could be watching too much porn. For example: Your boss calls you in and tells you you're going to have to work harder. And your mind starts playing really bad techno music.
c) You giggle everytime someone says: Pool guy, pizza guy, milk delivery guy, you could be watching too much porn.
d) If you kiss yourself on the shoulder. 'Nuff said.
e) If the first thing you think about when someone asks to use your computer is I hope they don't go through my history, you could be watching too much porn.
f) If you believe that there is a woman out there who will say to you: "No you sit back, I want to pleasure you. Don't worry about me." You could be watching too much porn.
g) If begging to stay in varsity excites you, you could be watching too much porn.
h) if you are reading this post and going he left so much out, you could be watching too much porn
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