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May 8th, 2012 at 7:55 PM | 0 Comments

Cate Blanchett extracted herself from Hollywood. I wanted to see her on stage. Because my father never wanted to live in NYC, either because he was a sucker at workplace or he was cowardic, I have never lived in NYC.
  I will never forget the times I was in NYC. I realized the insignificance of my existence. Amidst the skyscrapers that I have no control of, my illusion of my position was shattered. I realized the value of money, both internally and externally. I wanted to know everything. I wanted people to worship me for my wisdom and foresight. I realized I had no sexual appeal. Film Forum was a good place. I watched I'm Not There. I missed a screening of Elia Kazan film because it was sold out. Film Forum is on Houston Street. Houston Street is a name of a subway station. Regina Spektor, where is she at this moment? Her album is released shortly. I want to master French. I almost finished Une saison en enfer et Le bateau ivre. I start lesson with a new French tutor on Friday 4 PM at Natural Museum of Science. I hope she won't be cunty. Khaleel Daniels from Craigslist. What a moron. HCC are assholes. Unmotivating and unfulfilling. Neurotic caused by boredom. Bruno in Strangers on a Train. Patricia Highsmith.
  Uma Thurman is a bitch as is evident from special featurs in Prime DVD. I love Claude Chabrol films. It is filled with little moments. Just like Robert Altman. I must master the art of memory. Regina Spektor is a Russian Jewish. I think Toni, C.G. Jung's second mistress was Russian Jewish. No, No. A Dangerous Method was a good movie. Once one is hurt because of love, one never recovers completely. I still remember the corridor of my high school. I fantasized about dancing with her in solitary. I like Lovecraft. He had great imagination. I want to draw diagrams about Cthulu mythos. I am obssessed with making lists. It gives me a sense of order in this world of great disorder. Fucking cunts. I understand the desire to use sex dolls. It is about the control in sexual relationship. C.G. Jung wrote something about that. I sound like the ignorant Patricia Highsmith. What movies did I like? I liked Almost Famous. Not the theatrical one, the director's cut. It's about 140 mins. Possibly longer than that. Released in 2000. Didn't make money. A Great film. Who's that music critic? Lester Bangs. Creem. or Cream. Who gives a shit?
  Suppose I select a "girlfriend" out of desperation. despEration. NOT despAration. but separation. We have nothing to say. Dinners in silence. Stupid cunt dragging me down. Destroying my intelligence. Sucking my energy and money. Marrying each other because there is no other option. Second thoughts. Boring sex. Dinners in silence. Paul McCarteney's wife died of cancer. Was it ovarian or breast? ICT. MCAT. Boring sex. Dinners in silence. Nagging. Bitching. Domesticated Assault. "It was just a mistake." Charges dropped. Continued. Dinners in silence. Infidelity. Torment. Divorce. Alimony. Child support. The wife uses sex as a weapon after she gives birth. What a cunt! Borderline personality disorder. Narcissism. Inferiority complex. Plastic surgery. Bellevue. Bellaire.